Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Moan for me like Helen Keller
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
All the doctor said was why
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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