does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
