Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
