that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
