where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Randomize
