keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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