at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
