So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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