SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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