At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
