i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
