Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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