Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
