i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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