things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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