She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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