Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
