I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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