so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
