I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
