had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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