If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize