Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
