I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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