I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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