Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
