Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I think my moral compass just broke
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
