Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
