I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
