3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
