I think im going to throw up on grandma
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
