It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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