I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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