You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Actions speak louder than pants.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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