You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
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