Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
