Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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