I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Randomize
