After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
