Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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