Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
