Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
even my farts smell like vagina
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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