I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
