i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
