Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
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