btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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