So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
