Already got asked if we're dating
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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