you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
