I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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