I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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