sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
